Fanfic / Relapse (Deathbringer374)

2 Following

Image commisioned by Born2Walken and drawn by Amondetauro. See full illustrated scene here.

Relapse is a Neon Genesis Evangelion Continuation Dark Fic by Deathbringer374, author of Scar Tissue and Redemption Song.

It has been seven years since the Third Impact, and civilization has mostly returned. However, Shinji's mental state is worse than ever. Nearly seven years ago, Shinji's back and left lung were damaged in an accident, and Asuka flew back to Germany straight after. Over the intervening years, Shinji dealt with his deteriorating mental state, overwhelming loneliness, growing anger, and the ensuing nightmares and hallucinations, by drowning himself in his work as a cook, practicing martial arts until his knuckles bled, and abusing alcohol and worse substances.

Meanwhile, Asuka, was barely faring better. Blaming herself for Shinji's accident and vowing to find a way to fix the damage caused, Asuka devoted herself to study medicine, becoming an internationally-respected phisician and surgeon. Sadly, her forced separation from Shinji aggravated her own trauma, leading to suicide tendences, anger and loneliness issues and addiction issues which she had to overcome, focusing on her mission to help her former teammate.

One day, Asuka gets one call from Misato. Shinji got into a street fight to save a little girl, and has been very badly injured. Asuka flies back to Japan to save Shinji, confronting her past's ghosts in the process.

It can be read here and here.

Tropes:

• Adaptational Villainy: Mari Makinamik goes from crazy hero who helped save the world in the Rebuild of Evangelion films to crazy Interpol agent who attempts to murder Shinji several times.
• After the End: The story begins seven years after the Third Impact. The stealing and merge of three billions of souls into a soul had left the skies grey, the oceans tainted with red blood and the earth barren. Shinji and Asuka survived for a while by clinging each other, scavenging and seeking shelter in abandoned buildings until more survivors started leaving the ocean. After several years, human civilization had been mostly restored, and the Children are generally regarded as heroes, but many people whose relatives haven't yet returned still bear grudges against Shinji.
  Back when the world had been broken in pieces, back when the skies had been tainted black and grey and the blood of billions had permeated the oceans, back when stars were invisible and the moon shone with its tainted surface, they had held one another. In the shadow of an abandoned building where shelter had been secured the day before; on the beach's surface, teeth chattering with the cold after a building actually caved in and almost killed them, within the stinking relative dryness of a tent, under the rotting futon Misato had secured after they had been found, they had slept side by side, limbs almost blending them into one single being with the severity of their embrace.
• AM/FM Characterization: In chapter 5, Asuka dances joyfully to the beat of Lateralus by tool, showing her as someone energetic, passionate, fiery, and above all loud.
  Asuka: "I know, Baka. It's loud. I love my speaker! The way I see it, you either love Tool, or you're wrong!"
• Anger Born of Worry:
  • Early womahood has mellowed Asuka down enough that she will not scream at Shinji...unless he is doing stupid, like sudden moves which can reopen his surgery's scars and cuts.
    "Oh, does it?!" Asuka bit back, glaring him with a fire he had not seen since after Third Impact, a fire which paralyzed his tongue and hinged his jaw closed. Gone was the bright smile and relaxed features he had seen a few hours before, replaced by a furious scowl and menacing look which promised much more pain if he kept feeding the fire. Now this… this was familiar. "That's what happens when you open a freaking knife wound by running on it! Look at this, you could've torn it open!" she exclaimed, fuming, voice gaining decibels by the second. "What part of no sudden movements is too difficult for you to understand, huh?! How many times have I said this to you, already?! Are you not going to listen until you're puking blood, Shinji?! Or maybe when you start bleeding so much you'll trip on your own freaking blood, maybe then you'll listen, huh?! What the hell were you thinking?!"''
  • After Shinji is released from the hospital, his gym partner Krista goes to his home to shout what she thinks about him getting in a street fight and almost bleeding to death on the streets.
• Artistic License – Law: In the backstory, Asuka pushed Shinji away, without realizing that they were standing next to a rail, accidentally sending him over it and causing him to crash onto a table. Several years later, during an argument with Asuka, Misato warns that she "still [has] a hefty lawsuit for attempted murder sitting right next to [her] bed." Fortunately for Misato, Asuka isn't a law student but a medical graduate, and thus she cannot call Misato's bluff: Asuka is guilty of reckless endangerment at worst. In order to charge her with attempted murder, Misato would have to prove beyond any reasonable doubt that Asuka was actually really attempting to murder Shinji. And both women know that is both false and unprovable, so either Misato has no case, or her "evidence" has been doctored.
• The Atoner:
  • After the Third Impact, Shini has attempted to make up for his part in the end of the world by cooking for homeless people, donating every cent awarded by several guilty-conscienced governments, participating in charity events to fund homeless shelters, clinics, hospitals...and nobody but Asuka knows about it because Shinji never speaks of it.
  • Asuka got Shinji's back and left lung damaged by accident when she shoved him away without realizing they were standing next to a rail. Driven by immense guilt, Asuka vowed to fix it, so that she spent seven years getting several degrees in medicine, becoming a surgeon and coming up with new cell-regenerative procedures in order to help Shinji.
• Awful Truth: Asuka reveals Shinji that the car crash that killed his ex-girlfriend wasn't an accident. Asuka would have tried to get over her own feelings if Mari had been good for Shinji; instead, Mari was over-controlling, abusive, manipulative, encouraged his addictions, hired convicted criminals to "teach him a lesson", conspired with the yakuza to get herself kidnapped so that Shinji rescued her...eventually, a sickened and betrayed Shinji broke up with her but Mari wouldn't let it go and kept scheming ways to have his undivided attention until Asuka -who was not only jealous but also very overprotective from Shinji- finally snapped and got her assassinated.
• Bedmate Reveal: At the end of the fourth chapter, Shinji wakes up and finds himself anchored to bed and being barely able to feel his right arm. Shinji manages to turn and finds Asuka lying next to him fast asleep, holding onto his arm while her head is cradled on his shoulder. Shinji is about to shake her awake and demand an explanation when she whispers his name in her asleep.
• Big Damn Hug: In chapter 11, when Asuka and Hikari meet again after seven years and apologize to each other for past grievances, the latter ends hugging the former, and lets a sob out.
  Hikari took advantage of the moment and drew Asuka into another hug. The wave of emotion broke her resilience at last, and a heavy sob bled out of her throat.
  "You dummy," she muttered. "Took you long enough to come back."
  Asuka's arms finally wrapped around her frame. "I know. Heroes always arrive too late, just ask the idiot over there. But backup is here now."
• The Big Damn Kiss: After Asuka comes clean about her last shameful secret, Shinji throws his last stash of drugs away, and makes a vow where they will help each other forever. Then they kiss for the first time after seven years, and the world around them vanishes.
  Shinji marched over to the balcony with Asuka's hand tightly held in his. Once they were outside, he leaned in once more. "Either both of us heal, or we both fade away. Yes, what you did was horrible. So are all the horrible things I've done, and you're willing to help me carry them. Let me stay close, let me watch your back."
  "Why?" Asuka shook her head as tears that escaped her eyes. "Why would you want this after… after what I've done?"
  Placing his forehead against hers, Shinji chuckled. "What are you, stupid?" he asked. "It's simple. I want to help you, somehow… and be with you forever."
  Asuka smiled at last. "You're such an idio-"
  Their lips met, and everything in the world aside from them both faded away.
• Birds of a Feather: One of the reasons that Shinji and Asuka cannot get over each other, not even after a seven-year-long separation, is that they regard themselves as two sides of the same coin, and don't believe someone else could even understand them due to their traumatic but similar experiences.
  The boy had never spoken the words himself, but it was a truth she felt was written in her heart; just like how she knew, just knew how horrible he had felt during the last few years. They were in many mirror images of each other, only having taken a different approach in their form of living and the way they pushed people away. Precisely due to this similarity she felt herself drawn to him, and despite not having been there, could empathize with him better than any other person on the planet.
• A Birthday, Not a Break: Shinji gets into a fight and gets stabbed almost to death on his twenty-first birthday.
• Blackmail: The fact that Shinji and Asuka were forced to look into everybody's minds during the Third Impact and are too famous to dispose of quietly means they are able to call in favors of the Yakuza.
• Brain Bleach: After hearing Asuka admitting that, in spite of her seven-year-long absence, she knows a frighteningly detailed amount of information regarding him, including stuff which nobody was supposed to know about (like his former girlfriend of Hell, whose life was claimed by a car crash which Asuka implies it was not an accident), "Shinji did not believe there were sufficient drugs in the world to make him forget what he had just heard."
• Break the Haughty: Asuka used to be arrogant and proud, but a row of humilliating defeats during the War, followed by accidentally hurting and being forcefully separated from the only person whom she loved, have destroyed her pride to the point that she considers herself a screw-up, regardless being a top surgeon.
• Broken Bird: After meeting Asuka again, Shinji feels admiration because she went through the same Hell than him, but she managed to put herself together and become stronger and more mentally-healthy in the process.
• Bullying a Dragon: A drunken Toji tries to pick a fight with Hanayama when the latter warns him against insulting Asuka further. Meanwhile, Kensuke desperately tries to stop his friend from antagonizing the giant scar-faced gangster, since Hanayama is not only clearly way stronger and a better fighter than Toji; he is the boss of the yakuza, and could get them killed just for looking at him the wrong way.
• But Liquor Is Quicker: Played for drama. During the seven years that Shinji and Asuka and Shinji remained separated from each other, the former dated briefly a guy named Moritz who pumped her with alcohol and drugs to get her in the "mood"...not a good plan, considering that the drugs made her throw up during sex, and she always felt sickened in the aftermath. Shinji is utterly outraged when he finds out what Asuka was date-raped, but Asuka insists she knew what was happening, but she was feeling so depressed and upset back then what she didn't care for anything happened to her.
• Claustrophobia: Shinji has developed a fear to tight, enclosed spaces because of his traumatic experiences associated with his Evangelion's entry plug.
• Clingy Jealous Girl: When Asuka hears about some girl called Krista whom Shinji knows, she immediately demands to know who she is. Shinji explains Krista is only one of his training partners...and she has a girlfriend, by the way. Asuka feels embarassed about getting jealous of that girl, but nevertheless, she cannot help feel murderously angry when she sees Krista talking to Shinji, and struggles to think and behave rationally.
• Cooldown Hug: Asuka tries to calm Shinji down when he is suffering another manic episode by surrounding him with her arms. It almost works...unfortunately, his hallucinations are too strong.
• Crazy Jealous Guy: Asuka reluctantly dated four different men during the years she and Shinji remained apart. The mere thought of any of them makes Shinji angry enough to fantasize about grabbing his kitchen knives and chopping them to pieces. Even after Asuka clarifying that none of them meant anything, being only short-lived relationships foisted upon her by her father to her disgust, bringing them up makes Shinji throw a hand strengthener against his bedroom's wall out of rage.
• Crushing Handshake: After an argument where Kensuke explains why he kissed Asuka, Kensuke thinks that Shinji is going to punch him. Instead, Shinji extends his hand towards Kensuke to shake hands...and proceeds to almost crush Kensuke's like a grape, warning him to stay away from his girlfriend.
• Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon:
  • When she meets Shinji's gym partner Krista, Asuka's glare sends a wordless but clear threat:
    Yeah, he's mine. Her eyes had told Krista, loud and clear. I was gone, and now I'm back, and he's still mine. He was always mine. Touch him, and I'll rip out your heart from your chest and eat it before you. She knew the look well; it was similar to the one she threw at both men and women who dared to ogle at her perfect Kanao. The only difference lay in the intensity, while Krista's was a not too subtle warning, Asuka's was a promise. I will kill you if you hurt him. And not only will I kill you, I'll do it slowly… and I'll enjoy it. I will devour you. Believe that.
  • When one paparazzi makes an inquiry about Shinji's masturbating over Asuka in the hospital right before the Third Impact, Asuka shuts the reporter up swiftly and scarily:
    "You, the one who asked about the security footage."
    The man was shoved forward when one of the elder reporters kicked him in the back. "Uhm, yes?"
    ''"Mention anything related to that event again and I'll stick that camera so far down your throat you won't ever have to pay for a gastroscopy in your life."
• Dark Fic: In addition to their canon psychological issues, Shinji and Asuka struggle against hallucinations, extreme loneliness and anger issues, as well as suicidal tendences which have caused them to descend into substance addiction.
• Daydream Surprise: In the beginning of the chapter 2, one scene begins with Asuka trying to call Shinji and getting cold feet, before morphing into an hallucination where Asuka is being haunted by visions of her father and deceased mother. Then Asuka cuts her own finger while chopping vegetables, and snaps back to reality.
• Dead Guy Junior: Misato and Kaji named their first child Rei, after the First Child who never returned from Instrumentality.
• Dead Person Conversation: When his relationship with Asuka is finally getting better, Shinji sees his mother's real ghost and complains about spending seven nightmarish years before her "As long as the stars exists, you can be happy anywhere" prophecy was fulfilled, before adding Yui would hated his driven, beautiful and smart girlfriend. Later, Asuka asks her mother's ghost -which has been haunting Asuka's cheating father and stepmother for years- to give her father a break.
• Death by Adaptation: In canon, Mari Makinami survives the final battle and shows up in the final sequence where the cast leaves the Evangelion world. In this story, she dies in a car crash staged by a revengeful Asuka who didn't forgive Mari hurting Shinji.
• Death Glare: After waking up on a hospital bed, finding Asuka sitting by his side, and asking to be put out of his misery, "He didn't see it, but Shinji felt the intensity of her glare trying to melt off the skin on his face."
• Death Seeker:
  • After the Third Impact, her awful death, the loss of her mother and her humongous mecha and her life purpose, Asuka felt her suicidal tendences aggravating. So, when a car attempted to run her over and Shinji pulled her out of the way because she wasn't trying to dodge it, Asuka became mad with him.
  • Similarly, after the Third Impact and being forcefully separated from Asuka, Shinji feels worthless, but he cannot bring himself to commit suicide, so he gets into street fights constantly, hoping that someday someone will stab or shoot him to death.
• Defrosting Ice Queen: When Asuka meets Shinji again, she finds out he has become a mess: aloof, wary and uncaring, wanting nothing but getting killed in some street fight because he is both angry at the world and himself, seeing himself as worthless and undeserving of anything after triggering the end of the world. Asuka is certain that his old self is lying underneath his mask, though, so she vows to help him back up, succeeding where everybody else failed.
• Descent into Addiction: After the Third Impact, Shinji's deteriorating psychological issues and Asuka's absence lead to him becoming a junkie alcoholic. Asuka also develops an alcohol issue during their seven-year-long separation, drinking every time she wanted to forget, although she is better at beating her addiction.
• Doorstopper: 348,696 words spread over eighteen chapters as of June, 2025.
• Downer Beginning: The first chapter begins with adult Shinji bleeding to death on the streets after stumbling out of a street fight, and considering this is a good way to celebrate his 21st birthday, being is a friendless junkie who has nothing to live for. However, Shinji is saved by a good Samaritan calling an ambulance, and Asuka performing a life-saving surgery on him. From that point on, the story is about Asuka (who has been also struggling with her own psychological issues and substance addiction) helping Shinji heal (physically and mentally), overcome his addiction issues and reconnect with his friends.
• Driven to Suicide: After Third Impact, Asuka's mental stability is gradually eroded away by her trauma of war, the loss of her life purpose, and a long separation from Shinji with all loneliness and guilt that entails. Five years later, upon learning that Shinji was assaulted and almost beaten to death while she was away, Asuka got drunk to try to forget, and when it didn't work, came within an inch or so of hanging herself.
• Drowning My Sorrows:
  • Played for drama. After the Third Impact and Asuka's leaving, Shinji resorted to "deal" with his trauma, hallucinations and anger issues by bottling everything up until he couldn't stand it, whereupon he went out to get drunk and drugged-up, get himself into street fights and get hurt.
  • Two years before their reunion, when Asuka heard Shinji had been very badly hurt while she was going to medical school in Germany, she opted for getting drunk until she was barely conscious.
• Earn Your Happy Ending: Shinji and Asuka lean on each other to overcome seven years of increasing trauma, loneliness, substance abuse and suicidal urges. Gradually, Shinji manages to clean himself up and both youths finally get together and repair their relationship with their estranged family and friends, becoming happier and more emotionally healthy as a result.
• Emotional Hospital Visit: Asuka sits by Shinji's bedside after performing life-saving surgery on him. After Shinji awakens, Asuka confirms that Shinji has become a shell of himself during her seven years away, and ignoring his ugly verbal attempts to push her away, vows to help him back up.
• Flat "What":
  • Shinji's brain can barely come up with a "What." when Asuka oh so casually says they need to buy winter clothes for their incoming trip to Germany...which she never thought of mentioning until they were walking down the mall.
    "So, what exactly are we shopping for?"
    "Winter coats, waterproof shoes, maybe a suit or two," Asuka elaborated, baffling him further. "Germany's weather is gonna get chilly and rainy."
    What.
    "Germany?" Shinji exclaimed. Many curious eyes turned to him, whereas his girlfriend hid hers from him. "What the… why are we going to Germany?"
    The grip on his arm intensified. "Because I need to go pick up some things from my room, and… since we're a couple and stuff, I'd like for you to meet my parents."
    Oh. Oh! Oh… Shinji gulped down the instinct to run away that crept up his spine.
  • Shinji again comes up with a "What" when Asuka would rather eat takeout ramen than a professional chef's homemade lunch.
    "That's great news!" Shinji's mood brightened in an instant. "What would you like for lunch?"
    "Yeah, lunch. Well." Asuka's body language sent all sorts of alarms in his head. She looked uncertain, scared, and possibly in shock. "I really want some takeout ramen right now. F-From that place Misato takes us to every blue moon."
    What.
• Friendless Background: Twenty-two-year-old Shinji has co-workers, sparring partners...but he has not friends, and hasn't had for a long while, since he pushed his high-school acquaintances away.
• Good Samaritan: At the start, Shinji's life is saved by a kindly stranger who, rather than dodging an obvious violent junkie approaching him at night and asking him a lighter, lends his lighter, notices Shini's bleeding to death, and after calling an ambulance, stays with him and tries to stop the bleeding until the paramedics make it to the place.
• Hallucinations: Because of their mental trauma and substance abuse issues, Shinji and Asuka often experience hallucionations of their deceased parents' mangled, bloodied corpses talking to them, usually taunting or mocking them. Both ex-pilots are aware that their visions are not real, but it doesn't make them less scary or disturbing.
• Hanging Around: Asuka is often haunted by a hallucination of her mother hanging from a rope. Asuka herself was about to hang herself when she was twenty.
• Hates Being Touched: As a result of his trauma and unhealthy lifestyle, Shinji doesn't like being touched, to the point he snarls when Asuka plants a peck on his forehead as he is convalescent.
• Hope Is Scary: When Shinji asks Asuka why she left seven years ago, the German girl admits she got scared. In spite of all she had been through, she found herself enjoying herself...his company...that day...being alive. She was scared that she wanted to die, and he wouldn't let her go, so she ran away.
• Hurt/Comfort Fic: The story revolves around Asuka helping Shinji beat his psychological and substance abuse issues, exploiting her own experience overcoming mental trauma and addiction issues.
• Implied Death Threat: Yakuza boss Hanayama, who has been protecting Shinji and Asuka's interests for years, suggests Kensuke to give up his crush on Asuka and focus on Kensuke's own fiancée Mana, who has already been through a lot and doesn't need more hardships...such as becoming a widow.
• In Medias Res: The story begins with a badly wounded adult Shinji Ikari crawling out of a street fight, asking a stranger a lighter and collapsing due to blood loss. The next scenes alternate between revealing what happened to the main characters since the Third Impact, and show what happens to Shinji afterwards.
• Inner Monologue: During their introspective moments, Shinji and Asuka's mental voices often argue with themselves, usually angrily. Given their mental state, and the fact that they are struggling against substance addiction and suffering from hallucionations, it's difficult to say whether they are just repressing uncomfortable thoughts or suffering from some stage of multiple personality disorder.
• Invulnerable Knuckles: Shinji's favorite way to vent his pent-up rage used to be punching his gym's training equipment for hours. Asuka guesses his fists are so hardened and coarse because years of daily abuse have fractured and refused the hand bones into sledgehammers.
  The former fighter began barking instructions to his students, yet time seemed to have grinded into a complete halt for her, eyes suddenly glued to the training equipment. The surface was brutally smashed, marred in such a disgusting manner with brownish, dried up blood everywhere; droplets were evident on the floor, the base and all over the broken pieces of wood lying on the vicinity.
  The bones of both his hands are basically sledgehammers now… thousands of microfractures, maybe two or three actual fractures on each. He hits anybody with that, and they're going down. And this is why. Asuka's hand delicately traced the dents Shinji's knuckles had produced on the surface. Six broken boards, in God knew how little of a time frame. There was a bowl of salted water next to the board, she noticed. The skin around his knuckles feels like sandpaper. There's… there's more scar tissue than actual skin on them.
• Ironic Echo:
  • When Shinji is beginning one of his bad "trips", Asuka comments "You're nuts, you know", to which he replies "Nah, I'm insane.". Shortly later, when Shinji is trying to frighten her away with his mad ramblings, Asuka takes his hand, placing it on her throat, and challenges him to kill her. When Shinji shouts "Are you nuts?! Let go of me!", Asuka answers "No, Shinji. I'm insane."
  • When Asuka asks why Shinji keeps wanting to stay with him, the latter repeats one of her favorite sentences: "What are you, stupid?"
• It's All My Fault: Shinji blames himself for Mari's death, reasoning that Asuka only killed Mari because Mari previously attempted to kill him; and Mari only attempted to kill him because she could tell Shinji wasn't in love with her, only agreeing to going with her out of fear to solitude, and his rejection drove her mad(der).
• It's Not You, It's Me: After meeting Asuka again, Shinji feels impressed: unlike him, who spiraled down in anger issues and substance abuse after the Third Impact, she is a respected surgeon and therapist who has managed to overcome her own issues and on top of that wants to help him, who has been written off as a lost cause by most of his former acquaintances. Shinji feels so comparatively inadequate that believes he should just push her away in order to not drag her down.
  Asuka, he thought, resigned in some strange way. You really didn't need me to help at all, did you? No wonder you told me not to do anything; even then, you knew how wretched I was. The one good thing I can do for you, seeing how far you've come… the only thing I can possibly offer is… to draw you away. For your own good, you should just continue to stay away.
• Kill It with Fire: Asuka gets Mari assassinated, in revenge for the latter abusing and nearly killing Shinji, by trapping her in a car and setting it on fire.
• Living Emotional Crutch: After the Third Impact, Shinji and Asuka clung to each other to survive, finding out that cuddling up together at night kept their nightmares at bay. When Asuka accidentally caused Shinji's lung injury, though, she decided to move Germany to study surgery, and not speak to Shinji again until she was able to fix her mess. Unfortunately, both her and Shinji's lives fully fell apart as soon as she left Japan. Shinji became a mass of anger, depression, neurosis and substance addiction, and Asuka devoted herself to her studies in order to temporarily forget her inner turmoil and her own substance abuse issues. Seven years later Asuka returned and moved Shinji's apartment to watch over his recovery, and suddenly Shinji's nightmares and hallucinations receded, and he felt more capable to struggle against his addiction.
• Love Hurts: Shinji and Asuka are each other's true love, but because of their traumas and fears, they have hurt each other deeply. While Asuka was attending therapy sessions, her shrink used to tell her she need to open up to another people, even at the risk of being hurt by them, if she wanted to become happy.
  "Asuka," the shrink's voice said with eternal patience. "I understand you're afraid to allow yourself the slightest vulnerability, and I understand why. I fear, however, that in life we must many times risk the danger of being hurt, or betrayed, or lied to, in our own pursuit for inner peace and happiness. The only thing you have to ask yourself is… is that person worth the risk?"
• Make It Look Like an Accident: Shinji becomes pretty shocked and disturbed when Asuka mentions she knows about both his nightmarish ex-girlfriend Mari and the odd car cash that took her life. Later, Asuka admits she engineered Mari's accident. Mari had attempted to kill Shinji several times after he broke up with her, and she still refused to take the hint and leave Shinji alone, so that Asuka called for a favor with the yakuza, who turned Mari's car into a death trap, making it look like an unfortunate car crash.
• Media Scrum: After the Third Impact, Shinji and Asuka become world-famous and are constantly hounded by the paparazzi. Being two very private and introvert persons, they definitely don't appreciate the attention. Both ex-pilots are especially annoyed when a peaceful and intimate walk for the park is interrupted by a cascade of reporters (or "rat bastards", as Asuka likes to call them), demanding answers on extremely personal and sensitive topics until Asuka scares them away.
• The Medic: Asuka starts studying medicine to learn how to cure Shinji after his left lung and back become damaged during an accident. She became so determined to fix his injuries that Asuka is a worldwide famous who has received several medicine degrees and has developed miraculous tissue-regenerating procedures at the age of twenty, performing a successful life-saving surgery on Shinji after he gets four stabs wounds and loses loss of a liter or more of blood during a street fight.
• Mid-Suicide Regret: Two years prior to the story's beginning, Asuka became so depressed after learning that Shinji had been nearly beaten to death while she was away that she tied a noose around her neck, stood on a chair, and considered to hop off and let the rope do the rest. Before leaping to her death, though, saw a vision of she and Shinji having a happy time together, without worries or trauma ruining it, and vowed she would not die until she made that vision real.
• Murder the Hypotenuse: Played with. When she heard about Shinji dating Mari, Asuka considered to let her own feelings go, believing Mari could be good for Shinji. However, Mari turned out to be a deranged lunatic who sneaked pills into his food, and attempted to get Shinji beaten up and even killed several times because he wasn't paying attention enough to her. So, when Asuka found out that Mari had Shinji beaten and almost molested by a gang of criminals, Asuka decided the "crazy bitch" was dead and got her assassinated.
• My Fist Forgives You: Variant. Kensuke thinks Shinji is about to punch him after his acknowledgement that Kensuke spied on him and stole a kiss from Asuka. However, Shinji confines himself to almost crush Kensuke's hand like a grape before declaring he is done with it.
• No Antagonist: The story is about Asuka helping Shinji recovering physically and mentally after his becoming a self-destructive junkie in the years after the Third Impact.
• NO INDOOR VOICE: Sukuya, restaurant owner and Shinji's boss, is a huge, jovial man who has never been introduced to the concept of keeping his voice down. Shinji advises Asuka to cover her ears before his arrival to his house, and one second later, Sukuya's loud, stifling greeting forces her to cover her ears.
• Oblivious to Hints: Discussed when Shinji remembers Asuka complaining about him never doing anything, and ponders that maybe he would have gotten her hints if she had been straightforward about her feelings. Then Shinji argues with himself, thinking he got nothing because he never tried to get it.
• Oblivious to Love: Shinji is convinced that Asuka doesn't care about him, since she left Japan suddenly after his accident, and never called or wrote back for seven years. However, as Asuka gradually explains after their reunion, she did care for Shinji, but she was too ashamed to talk to him after his accident -which she blamed herself for-, and didn't dare to tell anything before becoming competent enough of a surgeon to fix their injuriess.
• OC Stand-in:
  • Asuka's father and stepmother, who barely had any focus in canon, are depicted as inept parents who didn't realize how badly his jerkass attitude and neglect were harming their daughter until they had to began atoning for their actions.
  • Nozomi, who never appears on-screen in canon, is given an "aggressively protective little sister" personality.
• Off the Wagon: After the Third Impact, Shinji's deteriorating mental health caused him to become a junkie alcoholic. During seven years, he tried to sober up twice and failed; after reconnecting with him, Asuka is determined to ensure that the third time is the charm.
  Twice he had gotten clean and twice had he chosen to fall back into the abyss. There had been no particular trigger either time, simply the realization that neither Asuka nor Rei were coming back, that he was indeed the lowest of the low, and a genocidal monster at that, and that staying sober for another minute was unnecessary. Just like his drinking or substance abuse, there was no true rigid reason behind it. It was the opposite; there were too many events, too many bad days which had laid down the path towards addiction where he currently threaded. Sobriety was a waste of time, now that he was convinced Rei would never come back, having reached adulthood without friends, peers, a girlfriend or something more intimate than work partners. Life was… empty, and painful, filled with sorrow and disappointment. The elder he grew, the more books he read, the more he studied and the more drugs he did, Shinji realized just how alone he truly was, and how powerless he felt towards his own mundane situation.
• One Drink Will Kill the Baby: Misato stopped drinking heavily when she got pregnant.
• Parental Substitute: Misato thinks neither of her former wards believe her when she says she loves them, but Asuka insists that Misato is the closest thing either of them had to an actual mother.
• Past Experience Nightmare: Shinji and Asuka suffered constant nightmares during seven years, where they revived old pains as their parents' abuse, their mothers' deaths, their war experiences, and Asuka's death by dismemberment right before the Third Impact.
• Plagued by Nightmares: Shinji suffers from recurring nightmares, caused by his mental issues and addiction issues, where he is tormented and tortured by his parents' corpses, who delight in forcing him to relive every agony suffered by him, Asuka and Rei during the War. Asuka herself dreams constantly with her mother's suicide, too.
• Poor Communication Kills: Feeling guilty for accidentally pushing Shinji over a rail, Asuka vowed to find a way to fix her damaged lung and back. Thus, she spent seven years studying medicine and researching cell regeneration in Germany, a time during which she didn't talk to Shinji at all because she felt too ashamed and unready to speak to him until she had something to show for your efforts. Unfortunately, her absence and prolonged silence made Shinji believe she did no longer care about him, which worsened his psychological traumas and suicidal tendencies.
• Punch a Wall: When Shinji is going through a bad trip, but he doesn't want to hurt anybody, he punches or bangs his head against the nearest wall until he passes out. Misato shows Asuka one fist dent when the latter moves to Shinji's apartment.
• Redhead in Green: When Shinji's co-workers are about to drop for a visit, Asuka puts on a seagreen dress which accentuates her red hair and curvaceous, slender figure.
• Redheads Are Ravishing: Much attention is given to Asuka being an absolutely stunning redhead.
  She is beautiful, he pondered, staring at the way the golden-auburn locks danced on her back when she moved. Now a grown woman, she was far more astonishing than she'd been as a teenager.
• Reed Richards Is Useless: As looking for ways to heal Shinji's damaged lung, Asuka finds out that her mother Kyoko discovered that LCL -the organic fluid used in the Evangelions- has remarkable medical possibilities, even nerve regeneration. Since her findings weren't useful to SEELE's ends, though, Kyoko abandoned her research in favor of going on building giant robots to fight the eldritch monsters awakened by SEELE itself with the goal to bring about the end of the world. Averted with Asuka who in fact completed her mother's research and published papers on it.
• Right Behind Me: It happens when Asuka is skimming over Shinji's huge bookcase, not realizing that Shinji is approaching as her back is turned:
  "I guess he didn't stay a full idiot, after all."
  "No," he called back, and smirked when Asuka screeched and jumped away in surprise.
• Running Gag: Asuka can hardly remember the name of Krista, Shinji's gym partner. She gets it wrong nearly every time.
  Asuka: "So, Karla/Katy/Kamila/Kayla/Kendall/Kimberly/Khalilah—"
  Shinji: Krista".
  Asuka: "Whatever her name is."
• Shout-Out: In chapter 5, Asuka dances to the beat of tool's "Lateralus".
• Single-Target Sexuality: During their seven-year-long involuntary separation, Shinji went through three short-lived relationships, failed because neither of those women felt right, not being Asuka. For her part, Asuka tried to date other men, often goaded by her father, but their relationships never lasted long, and she usually needs to get drunk in order to have sex, always feeling sick and guilty the next morning because neither of them were Shinji.
• Stress Vomit: Asuka vomits all over the sidewalk after getting Mari assassinated to protect Shinji.
• Suddenly Shouting: During an argument, Shinji is raising his voice in spite of Asuka's warning to not do it -lest that his stitched wounds reopen-, prompting this reaction:
  Asuka: "I thought I told you to STOP YELLING!"
• Supreme Chef: Shinji works in a small restaurant because focusing on preparing the best possible meals served him as a therapy during his struggles against his mental issues and substance addiction. So, he became good enough of a cook to win the price for employee of the month at least once.
• Take That!: While Asuka is perusing Shinji's surprisingly large book collection, Shinji boasts his degree in modern philosophy. Immediately, Asuka mocks him for boasting about studying the most worthless subject ever.
  Asuka: "I guess he didn't stay a full idiot, after all."
  Shinji: "No. The idiot got himself a bit of an education. I did graduate college, you know. It's a little known fact that I have a degree in modern philosophy."
  Asuka: "Right. And you just had to choose the one degree that was more moronic than the cello, nicht? I mean, come on! You could've studied biology or music and become a professional cellist, but then you decided books about whether or not God is a human construct gave you a higher calling. Such a boring little boy."
  Shinji: "It's not everyone's dream job to have their hands deep in somebody's entrails. I like to read, and that career was basically reading all day and all night long, so I went along with it."
  Asuka: "You actually have to think and process what you're reading, Baka. The very idea of philosophy is to analyze and understand the correlations between things which seem to have no correlation at all. It's quite a bit like physics, really. You just have word walls and rambles instead of equations, and more rambles instead of results."''
• A Tankard of Moose Urine: As looking around Shinji's apartment, Asuka tries one beer and grimaces at the bad taste. Misato says Shinji likes buying an urine-tasting beer brand for some unfathomable reason.
  "Yeah, Prost," she sighed, picked up the sliced carrots and threw them in the blender, pausing to get herself a Keller as well and taking a sip. "Ugh, what the hell is this piss?"
  "Spanish piss, honey," Misato took a long drink. It was almost five o'clock, almost time to go home and see her little girl waddle her feet to come greet Mama. "Shinji seems to like it. It's more of an…acquired taste, if you will."
• Tantrum Throwing: After his co-worker Akiko innocently brings Asuka's past "boyfriends", Shinji retreats to his room to vent his anger by squeezing a hand strengthener on his right hold. When his growing fury become impossible to channel, Shinji throws the innocent object against a wall.
• That Man Is Dead: When meeting Shinji for the first time after seven years, Asuka takes notice of his cold, harsh and snarky attitude repressing a ball of fury and pain, and asks what happened to Shinji. Shinji replies he died two years ago after a particularly nasty street fight which left him drugged up in an alley, beaten to a pulp and stabbed. Asuka also realizes, though, that he is being extra-harsh in order to push her away for good and kill the last remant of Shinji Ikari, which she will not allow.
• Their First Time: In chapter 13, after a seven-year-long separation, and several months of cohabitation, heart-to-heart talks, arguments, reconciliations and healing, both mental and physical, Asuka feels they are ready to give the next step, so she waits for Shinji in their bedroom, wearing silk underwear. Neither of them really knows what to do, so they agree to follow their instincts and end up worn-out and lying on the sheets.
• The Thing That Would Not Leave: Played with. Shinji isn't happy to find out that Asuka is going to live with him during three months, making sure that he stays healthy and sober instead of leaving him to his own misery. On the one hand, he spent years wishing for Asuka returning to his life; on the another hand, he is so deteriorated after seven years that he would everybody left him alone in his own private Hell.
• Twitchy Eye: Shinji gets Asuka mad by claiming she is suddenly wanting to save him to write some paper on the sad tale of the Third Child. Suddenly he notices a vein pumping right above her eyebrow, which had started twitching maddeningly.
• Unbroken Vigil: After performing emergency surgery on Shinji, Asuka spends four days sitting by his side, waiting for him waking up.
• Undressing the Unconscious: In the first chapter, Shinji gets into a street fight to save a little girl and passes out due to his injuries and severe blood loss. When he comes around, his clothes have been removed by the medics who tended his injuries and performed a life-saving surgery.
• Ungrateful Bastard: Ashley, the little girl whom Shinji saved from being raped just ran away as her saviour was being stabbed to death. Both Misato and Asuka are severely pissed about her never calling an ambulance or the police. Subverted later, when Ashley explains her phone was stolen by her would-be rapists. Ashley started running until she bumped into an older lady, whom she begged to let her use her phone, but she had been dragged to a very bad part of town and didn't even know where she was.
• Vengeance Feels Empty: Asuka gets Mari assassinated in revenge for Mari physically and psichologically abusing Shinji, furthering his trauma and addiction issues. After Mari is dead, though, Asuka feels no joy or pleasure. She just feels ashamed and sickened.
  No joy erased the regret and shame, no satisfaction filled her chest. There was no burden removed, nor did any sort of sadistic pleasure arise. Asuka closed the laptop, placed the scarf back around her neck and went about her presentation as though nothing had happened. Nobody asked a single question; the doctors merely nodded at her, the investors gave their signatures, and clearance was provided to begin implementing the treatment on humans. It was only after she exited the University that Asuka allowed herself to double over and vomit all over the sidewalk.
  "I guess you did win something in the end, you witch."
• Violently Protective Girlfriend: When Shinji gets almost killed during a street fight to save a little girl from four rapists, Asuka calls in a favor of the yakuza, and gets those four gangsters found and assassinated. Previously, Asuka also got Shinji's ex-girlfriend Mari assassinated when she learned that Mari dealed with their breakup by getting Shinji beaten up and almost molested.
• Waking Up Elsewhere: Shinji passes out on the street due to blood loss after a brutal street fight. To his immense displeasure, Shinji wakes up on a hospital bed four days later.
• Wall Pin of Love: After Asuka has arranged a surprise meeting between Shinji and Kensuke to clear the air between them, Shinji -who explicitly said he didn't want to talk to Kensuke again after finding out that his ex-friend stole a kiss from Asuka- angrily pushes Asuka against the wall, slams a palm on the concrete beside her face and demands an explanation before possessively kiss her.
• Wedding Finale: The story's final line has Asuka accepting Shinji's proposal of marriage.
• Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Due to his past traumatic experiences, Shinji has a mix of agoraphobia and claustrophobia (fearing open spaces with a lot of people and dreading the sensation of being trapped or helpless). Thus, when Shinji and Asuka go to an airport, Shinji starts having a panic attack, hyperventilating and heaving because the place reminds him of the Geofront, and everything about the plane reminds him of being stuck into a war machine. For her part, Asuka developed an extreme case of hemophobia, feeling sick by the very sight of blood; though, she had to overcome it to become a surgeon.
• You Are Not Alone: After a seven-year-long forced separation, Asuka returns to take care of Shinji, whose psychological traumas have been aggravated further by her absence. At one point, Asuka gives him one piece of paper where she has scribbled down her phone number and the words 'YOU'RE NOT ALONE.' Throughout his recovery, Asuka reminds him several times that:
  "You're not alone," Asuka murmured after he tucked his head between her chin and shoulder. "Not anymore, and never again."